A woman can not become a Buddha in the same way as a man. The power of men is the method and the power of women is the wisdom. So it works for the men, just to repeat all the practices that the Buddha Shakyamuni did, which is of course not simple. But was is simple for the men, is that they have a clear guidance. The women must rely on their wisdom and on their feelings. As first 500 women wanted to be the buddhist nuns the Buddha answered no to them 2 times, and only after third request he said yes. What does it teach us? I suppose it teaches us, that women shall not rely on Buddha’s words as much as men. They should more rely on their heart and on their strong wish to help all suffering beings. If they see that beings need their help, but some rules forbid it, the feeling must win over the rule. It is the women’s way to practice dharma – it is the wisdom.
I think Buddha had never special rules regarding the women, he just proved how strong they want to become nuns and if their wish is strong enough he will allow it. If the wish there week he would not allow it. The same method works with woman becoming a Buddha. If she really has a strong wish to make it, than she should make it, if not, the Buddha will not allow it. What differs women’s becoming a nun or a Buddha is that a woman must use all her’s wisdom and creativity to do it. She must, relying on her feeling establish her own way, how she will help other beings when she is a nun or a Buddha. Good examples are Tara, who just wanted to be a Bodhisattva in women’s body, although everyone said to her, that she must obtain the man’s body for some serious practices. And how much did she give to people, especially because she is a woman and has the nice attitude to help people in whatever situation they are and whatever help they wish. In this way she helps to overcome very difficult situations in life, because she give no rules, she forbids nothing, she just has strong compassion.
So first step is to become a monk.
The main problem for the men in becoming a monk is a question, who will feed me, because a man’s role in family is to provide food and if he doesn’t play that role, then someone must do it for him who likes his occupation with spiritual practices.
The main problem for women is not a question, who will feed me. Of course it is the problem, but it is not the main problem. The main problem is, who will speek with my family, eventually with my child and explain them this step, so that they don’t feel abandoned. Because this is the role of a woman in a family, to have a connection to everyone.
Mail monk community can exist because a lot of lay Buddhists exist, who help them with the food and robs. Female nun community would exist truly, if a lot of lay Buddhists would exist, who would appreciate their Buddhist practices especially as a woman and would help every woman to be socially accepted in her family and will take care for her family and especially her child if it exists. Only such help would destroy all the mental problems of nuns after leaving their family.
So my message for women is – don’t take it seriously what Buddha said about women. He is not a patriarch, and i am sure he didn’t want to suppress women. He said that there is no difference between the spiritual possibilities of men and women. They only have to play different social roles. Only take seriously what Buddha said about the teaching. In Lotos Sutra he make a hint, not to take seriously his words, that woman can’t be a Buddha, showing a woman, which became a Buddha in front of big assembly of Buddha’s disciples.
His community consists mainly of men, and these are the man, who should follow the Buddha’s rules on behavior strictly, because it is in the man’s nature, that they need some strict rules. Women don’t need them, because they have more inner wisdom to distinguish what is appropriate and what not. On the one side Buddha didn’t cared so much about women, as about man, but on the other side, he also didn’t tied them as much with the rules and was always very in-consequent on the rules regarding women and relied more on women’s wish than on his own thoughts.
So everyone feel free to be a Buddha if you wish to help to lead sentient beings from samsara’s ocean!